Memories

I know, the only constant in life is change. But here’s one that basically won’t affect anything that has an emotional impact on me.

When I was little, the first thing Mom taught me to bake was her grandmother’s mondel bread. It’s been a constant in my life, a recipe I haven’t looked at in years because I can do it without even thinking, pure muscle memory.

The main ingredients are flour, sugar, eggs, and Crisco. And for all the years I’ve been making it, the can on the right has been the one I bought when I needed more (I buy it at Costco, because I bake often enough that it lasts). The can on the left is the new design, and it was a shock when I first saw it. It was almost painful when I had to buy it, and today, I used up the old one and opened the new: the end of an era. The contents are exactly the same; the only thing that has changed is the look of the can. But that’s an emotional change that makes me remember all that baking over all those years.

#Crisco #baking #memories

On Friends

I had occasion today to scroll through my entire friends’ list on Facebook. That’s a lot of names. I was surprised how many times, just glancing at a name immediately brought to mind a face, or a memory of an interaction, or an entire relationship. On the other hand, I was also saddened as I realized how many of my Facebook friends are now deceased. It happens, but as final as their passings were, there’s an even greater feeling of finality in choosing to “unfriend” one of the deceased, because there’s no chance of a later request to reconnect ever being accepted.

All of those warm and maudlin thoughts combined to make me realize how prophetic the dedication of my forthcoming book is. Punctilious Punctuation will be officially published on September 15, but here’s a picture of the dedication page.

Memories… and differences

Random memory while opening a can of tuna for dinner (I just did not feel like cooking):

During the blackout of 2003, I walked from my office on Wall Street, over the Brooklyn Bridge (don’t think you can see me in this picture), through Brooklyn, along Flatbush Avenue past the zoo (where a couple of volunteers had a hose out through the gates to the sidewalk, refilling water bottles for those of us walking by), and along Ocean Avenue. It took just over five hours. I got to the apartment building about an hour after sunset, just after full dark.

Walked up to the third floor apartment, I took a shower in the dark, and then went into the kitchen. I opened a can of tuna, and ate it straight from the can, standing in the kitchen.

Then it was a long night of trying to make contact with the family (fortunately, we had a rotary phone plugged directly into a wall jack—in this era of all digital, internet-based telephony, I doubt there would have been any contact), trying to figure out what happened, sleeping with the windows open, and then spending a fairly lazy day (until the power came back).

Tonight’s can of tuna was significantly different. I paired it with the left-over vegetables from last night, microwaved, and followed it up with a piece of the pie I made yesterday (after a day in the refrigerator, the formerly crumbly crust has stiffened up a bit to flaky, which is good). And now I’m sitting here comfortably with the lights on. Though once again, I’m here alone.

Ah, differences… and memories.

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